A recent conversation I had in my head while getting a Saudi massage
JB: Ok, so he was a pretty big dude but this looks legit
JB: never had to wear a towel before usually just pop under the sheet
Massage Therapist: sir, yes please, towel sir, no tight
JB: Umm, uhh, oh
Massage Therapist: Like this, like this
JB: Ah, ah, ummm yup, yup I’m definitely naked, yup he just took the towel off, oh, nope, put it back on me, ok good
JB: ok, that’s cool, just warming it up before we get started, just warming up the back
JB: this is good, feelin good, feelin relaxed…..reeeeeeelaxed
JB: uh, uh, there goes the towel again, yup definitely naked again
JB: oh, uh, yup, definitely just pinched the skin between my butt cheeks….yup definitely not the butt cheeks, yup definitely between the butt cheeks, is there skin there? He’s pinching something
JB: ow, ow, shit, ow, pinching and snapping the skin all the way up my back……hmmm, feels kind of good actually…..what’s that saying again…..”why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer?, because it feels so good when I stop”…..yup kind of like that saying.
JB: ahhh that’s better, back to some more normal stuff
JB: feelin good, feelin relaxed, feelin real good
JB: hmmm, he must be employing the ancient technique known as tapotement. Ummm, hmmm, nope, nope, definitely just hitting me……ow, ow, yup definitely hitting me. Oh dear, I think I’m getting a spanking, yup definitely getting a spanking. Yup he’s definitely hitting me with great force……try not to laugh, try not to laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh…….my mom’s in a wheelchair…….ahhh, that’s better thanks mom saved the day.
JB: oh yeah, getting relaxed, relaxed, feeling good
JB: Workin the legs, sweet, legs are tired……..uh uh uh, inner legs……uh, bingo, just touched mr. bigglesworth, yup definitely mr bigglesworth…..margaret thatcher wearing drag, margaret thatcher wearing drag, maragaret thatcher wearing drag…..whew, close call, thanks Margaret thatcher
Massage Therapist: Sir, this way, this way
JB: “Flip over?”
Massage Therapist: Sir, please, yes sir
JB: oh, there goes the towel, well, over I go, yup definitely naked sunny side up
JB: oh good, towel back on
JB: ahh good, more standard stuff, feelin good, feelin relaxed, feelin reeeeeeelaxed
JB: hmm, not too bad……..uh, there goes the hitting again, yup definitely hitting, lots of hitting, feels kind of good but definitely hitting
Massage Therapist: Ok sir, finished
JB: Thanks, that was great
Reception Desk: Thank you Mr. Blake, how was your massage
JB: Great! You got any space tomorrow?
Reception Desk: Tomorrow sir? Yes sir, no problem, how is 3pm
JB: Perfect, see you then.