Pants Swapper

6′8″- 250lbs

5′5″- 130lbs

On Friday i had my first colonoscopy/endosocopy.  It’s not normally something you should blog about but I feel compelled purely from a medical awareness standpoint.

The hardest part was the 41 hours of fasting I had to do.  Now, I know that people fast far longer than this for other reasons and of course hunger really isn’t something that we should complain about in north america (at least for most people).  But I can tell you it was tough for me.  I know I have done 24 hours of fasting previously but never quite this long.  I was only allowed to consume clear liquids so that ruled out smoothies etc as well.  By the end of it I was almost a bit high I think.  Adding to it I had to take a rather strong laxative which was really interesting.  I have never had to take one of these before and I can confidently say that they really do work.

It’s funny how things in life often collide.  I had my last meal on Wednesday night and had to go to Vancouver on Thursday for meetings that were quite important.  I was supposed to take my first laxative at 8am.  My flight (on a tiny harbour to harbour plane with no bathroom) was booked for 9:50.  It’s a 30 minute flight but a bit risky I think.  I had to make the decision whether to take the laxative before flying and risk obvious dramas in the air versus delaying the laxative to post flight and risk a rather embarassing meeting in Vancouver.  I decided on the former and it paid off.  at 9:30….20 minutes pre flight time it hit me and I managed to have access to the bathroom.  I can tell you that I was more nervous for that flight than any in my life.

The day was interesting…..sugary tea and the odd bit of hot honey water sustained me through the day.  I arrive back in Victoria late at night and managed to get to sleep which was a brain saver.  Next morning was pretty easy, some caffeinated tea helped things.  My endoscopy was at 1:30 and I had some food on the ready that I could eat immediately following.

This procedure is not really that much fun.  The tube with the camera on it goes in the back door so to speak and has a look around.  I certainly had moments of nausea but also moments of extreme interest and fascination.  A large TV screen showing the inside of my colon was right infront of me and I could take a good look.  It was much different than I thought it was.  I was definitely clear of any biological waste so we got a real good look at things.  Thankfully nothing major….primary reason was due to significant bleeding post Ironman Canada which was a bit worrisome but all clear.

So I say the next time you have the chance to have one of these you should go for it.  You only live once.

I was swimming yesterday and had one of my “I’m freaked out in this place” sessions.  Murky water, debris that you run into and the mind starts playing tricks on you.  It’s my one weird phobia….sometimes I handle it well, sometimes I’m a chicken shit…..yesterday I was the latter.

Found out today that in the exact space I was swimming a dude got a hefty shark bite while swimming about 2 hours after I was out there.  The last 24 hours nobody has been in the water there.  So there giant world, I was right!  Sharks do bite people every single day in the ocean and we should be absolutely terrified of them ALWAYS.  Well, not entirely, I think it is very rare and I will likely go for a swim tomorrow just to spite the sharks.

I got my tires fixed today sort of.  We just filled them up with a ton of Stans and that seems to be a good temporary fix.  I feel completely disorganized here.  I had to recruit Kelly and Mel to bring me tires.  I figured a new set from home would do the trick but I am grossly underprepared equipment wise in mountain biking, still learning the basics.

I got nothin beyond that.

(There’s supposed to be a picture here of mike and I swimming but I can’t make it small enough.  So picture this: Mike Neill, in a speedo and nothing else, hairy chest, benching 350 on the pool deck, Jasper Blake, speedo, spotting mike while he benches 350)

Good swim this morning at the sweet pool in Kona.  Saw lots of superstars like Cameron Brown doing laps.  We did a set of 8*200 and things were feeling much better than yesterday.

After the swim I bought a hat.  It’s the coolest hat I’ve ever owned and it goes well with my sunglasses.  I’ve finally figured out what the big deal is with big sunglasses.  They make you look skinny.  I look 10lbs lighter in my sunglasses and I am frequently hearing people whisper as I walk by “man, that guy looks fit”, it’s a really big mental advantage for me this year.

In the afternoon I went for a bike workout, real chill out the gates and over to the base of the climb to Hawi.  We took Finn to the beach and he got some sweet air time.  I’m thinking of building a catapult or trebouchet to better launch him into the water.  I want people to say “Wow, that kid had some serious hang time before he hit the water”.

We watched Brett Favre beat up on the Green Bay Packers today.  This was his last game in the 30’s.  He turns 40 on October 10th which happens to be Jude’s birthday.  I am October 9th which is one place higher.  Generally folks born on these days are really cool.  Football is wicked….so much hype surrounding the game it was awesome.  I love watching NFL football, awesome show man awesome.  They did a sound bite reel with some of the stuff Favre has said over the years:

“You guys should take two weeks off then quit” (talking to ref’s after a bad call)

“Who hit me?  Who hit me?….oh, it was you, I thought you could hit harder than that” (Talking to a guy who just sacked him)

“Take it easy on me, I’m getting old” (Talking to several guys who just sacked him)

Guy’s awesome!  Bed time.

Well, maybe not this bike but one like it.  And maybe not me riding it but Chris Lieto.  Bottom line is that is looks pretty cool and I have an orange helmet to match so take that un-color-coordinated people.  The only drawback is that i have a red, white and blue race outfit which I suppose doesn’t really go well with orange but this isn’t a fashion show so back off Tyra Banks.  This bike is sporting the newest and coolest tool kit behind the seat.  No straps, no fuss, no mess….clips into the seat rails and is super aero.  Perhaps tomorrow I will show you a picture of it froma  different angle.

Rode out the bike course today with Mike Neill and I’m certain it was windy.  Sometimes it’s not good to think that it’s windy because it may not actually be that windy compared to how windy it can be and if you thought it was windy and it actually was not then that just sucks.  But I think when you are going 17km/hr in one direction pedaling like a mad dog and 47km/hr in the other direction without pedaling it’s safe to say that it’s windy.  Unless of course you are going uphill and downhill but we are not talking about hills here, we are talking about wind.  Hills are different than wind.  With hills gravity is the factor that we must contend with.  And if you’re on the moon or some other surface where gravity is not as much a factor well then it’s just easier to go uphill.  I’m sure there are some planets that have much stronger gravitational pull which would make going uphill much more difficult especially if you are wearing a space suit.  Hawaii is funny like that, you feel like you are in outer space but you don’t actually need one of the suits designed for outer space.

Finn played nude hockey on the grass today for about an hour.  NO it’s not ok to join your kid in nude hockey in a common area of a condo complex.  I said to the guy “no sir, excuse me, what age does it become inappropriate to be nude?”  and he said “well jackass, i’m pretty sure that it’s not ok when your 35!”  and I said “i turn 36 next friday”

Speaking of jackasses- There is a sign on the road going into Kona that says “Donkey crossing”

Jude: “What do donkeys eat out here”  referring to the lava wasteland where it seems nothing grows

Jazz: “They eat each other”

Jude: “Donkeys don’t eat meat”

Jazz: “Hawaiin donkeys do”

Jude: “Carniverous Hawaiian donkeys”

In other news, Finn gave jude a piece of mango from a fork that he had recently put in his bum which allowed me to coin another classic phrase that will no doubt go down in history “mango bum fork”.  Some phrases don’t need years to become classics….some phrases are instant classics, this is an example of one.